Sustainable Sex Toys — Part 2: Loved Toys Last
A guide to properly caring for sex toys and keeping them out of the trash
By kat baus
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Part of living sustainably is keeping what we own in good condition and using it for as long as possible. We patch holey t-shirts, hang-dry delicates, wash nonstick pans with gentle scrubbers, and keep smartphones in protective cases.
It’s just as important to take care of our sex toys. Because there are few options for recycling and downcycling toys, maintaining them is essential to keeping them out of polluting waste streams. Mindful cleaning, lube use, charging, and storage all reduce the likelihood that toys will be damaged or discolored, lose vibration power, transmit infections, start emitting weird noises, or bite the dust—what a turn-off!
This guide will help you keep toys in your bedroom and out of the landfill—reducing demand for new products and slowing down the consumption cycle in the process—as well as cover how to properly dispose of toys that have become truly unusable.
Please note that this advice applies only to non-porous toys. Porous sex toys can harbor disease-causing particles (e.g. viruses, bacteria, yeast, and mold) even the most thorough cleaning won’t eradicate. If you own a porous toy, I recommend throwing it away and investing in one that’s built to last.
Keep What You Can
The simplest way to keep toys out of the landfill is to keep them! Although stigma might discourage us from holding onto toys from past relationships, toys that aren’t in perfect shape, or more than a few toys at once, that stigma only benefits industries that want us to view toys as disposable so we’ll throw them away and buy more.
Your toys are not your ex. Of course, a toy you used with a past partner might remind you of that relationship for a while. But just like your body, your blankets, and your favorite shirt aren’t tainted because your ex touched them, neither are your sex toys. Think of them as an extension of you: deserving love and ready for exciting, new experiences.
If you benefit from rituals, try cleansing your toys of their old associations. Wash and disinfect your collection while blasting music, burning incense, reciting a mantra (like “I am ready for new experiences” or “Screw you, Alex, these toys are mine!”), or whatever else helps you feel refreshed. Alternatively, put your toys in storage for a few months. You might be excited to rediscover them after some time has passed.
Try taking a break from the sex toys you used with an ex instead of trashing them.
Find workarounds for imperfect toys. Is your toy on the noisy side? Music, a fan, or your go-to TV show might mask the sound. Did your vibrator’s rechargeable battery give out? It might live on as a great non-vibrating dildo. Are the vibrations too intense? Try muting them by using the vibe through clothing, a blanket, or a washcloth, or add a topper, sleeve, or dimmer switch to customize sensation and intensity.
The more, the merrier. Don’t condemn items to a landfill because they don’t fit in your bedside drawer; if you use them at all, they’re worth hanging onto. Consider reorganizing to use space more efficiently, upgrading to a larger container, or moving less frequently used toys to a spot that doesn’t take up prime real estate. If you use toys with a partner, ask if you can keep some at their place, or see if they’d like to borrow any that you don’t use as often.
Store Toys Safely
All toys should be stored clean, dry, and out of direct sunlight to prevent mildew and color fading. Silicone toys should ideally stand upright or lie flat on smooth, hard surfaces, which dildo maker Kenton of Funkit Toys recommends to keep silicone safe from being squished or scratched. Breakable materials like glass and ceramic should live where they won’t fall or be knocked against hard surfaces, ideally in a padded pouch or container. If they do drop, chip, or crack, it’s time to retire them.
Get creative with containers. Just about anything can be repurposed for sex-toy storage: a drawer, a chest, a hanging medicine cabinet, a cute vintage lunchbox. I keep mine in an antique writing desk. A good storage solution has enough space for all your toys (plus room to expand) and shelves or compartments to keep things neat. If you want extra privacy, keep an eye out for containers with locks. If you like puns, try a secondhand “toolbox” or “toy chest.”
Display your collection. Alternatively, you might treat your sex toys like functional art and arrange them on a shelf or mantle. Make sure open storage is inaccessible to pets who might turn your sex toys into chew toys, and line wooden and painted surfaces to prevent toys from leaving “footprints” or sticking to the paint.
Pack for safe travels. Although smooth, hard cases are ideal for silicone toys, fabric zipper pouches are a convenient alternative, as they take up less space and can be tossed in the wash. Breakable materials like wood, ceramic, glass, and stone should be padded to prevent scratches or cracks. Many come with padded pouches for this purpose, but wrapping in a t-shirt will do in a pinch. A travel case should fit your favorite lubricant and safer sex supplies as well as your favorite toys.
Charge With Care
When I worked in sex toy retail, improper charging was the most common reason our display toys broke and had to be replaced. Treating charging components with care will help avoid premature toy death.
Avoid over- and under-charging. If your toy comes with charging instructions, read them, follow them, and keep them handy. Many toys feature indicator lights that flash while charging is in progress, then switch to a steady glow. When possible, unplug toys as soon as charging is complete. Failing to do this can reduce your battery life over time.
Don’t swap chargers. Only use the charger that originally came with your toy, unless you have another charger that is completely identical (e.g., for another toy by the same brand). Using the wrong charger may crack or short out your charging port, permanently damaging your toy. Consider labeling your cables to avoid mixing them up and never use a damaged charger. Instead, contact the toy brand for a replacement.
Be gentle with the port. Never force a charger into a charging port; if it doesn’t go in smoothly, you may be inserting it at the wrong angle or using the wrong charger by mistake. Unless your toy is completely waterproof, be careful to keep the charging port dry. If it gets wet, allow it to dry completely before turning the toy on or charging it again.
Disposable batteries require extra care. Carefully follow instructions regarding which batteries to use and how to insert them, and remove the batteries when the toy is not in use to reduce the risk of corrosion and damage. Some toys get weaker or slower as the batteries wane; replace the batteries right when this starts to happen to avoid overworking the motor. Don’t forget to look up your local regulations for disposing of used batteries, which usually cannot be placed in household trash.
Use (the Right) Lube
Good lube can make the difference between an underwhelming, uncomfortable, or too-big toy and a delightful experience. The wrong lube might make a mediocre situation worse, causing irritation or discomfort. Here is a quick rundown of basic lube options. For more detailed information, I recommend the lube guides created by progressive toy shop Smitten Kitten.
Water-based lubricants are versatile, widely available, and compatible with all toys and safer sex supplies (like condoms, dental dams, and gloves). I recommend water-based lubes with short ingredients lists that use either hydroxyethylcellulose (plant cellulose) or propanediol (made from corn) as the humectant (the thing that makes the lube slippery) — as opposed to glycerin or propylene glycol. Sliquid H2O, Sutil, and the “sensitive skin” formulas of drugstore brands are my usual picks. Aloe makes good water-based lube if you buy in bulk or make your own. I don’t recommend buying lubes with aloe off the shelf; it dries faster than other humectants, so you’ll run through the little plastic containers quickly.
Plant-based oils like coconut and grapeseed are popular among naturalists and those who like to buy in bulk to reduce cost and packaging. They last longer and have a smoother feel than water-based lubes, and they work well with high-quality sex toys. However, oils damage most safer-sex barriers like condoms and dams, so they’re ideal mainly for solo play or with partners you don’t mind swapping germs with. Oils are also incompatible with sex toys made of plastics like PVC and TPR, and they should be used with care by people prone to vaginal or urinary tract infections. If you buy oil in large quantities, transferring some to a small bottle for regular use will help protect the bulk from exposure to air and germs.
Silicone and water–silicone hybrid lubes are popular for their staying power when used with toys made of metal, glass, or other hard materials. They’re less ideal for pairing with silicone toys, which can absorb them and become uncomfortable to use. If you’re partial to silicone or hybrid lube, try a spot test to confirm that it won’t damage a given toy, and clean the toy thoroughly after use rather than letting lube sit on it. Be careful when storing and traveling with silicone lubes, as spills stain and can require a lot of work to clean.
Clean Properly and Regularly
Sex toys are in frequent contact with body fluids and mucous membranes that can potentially transmit infection, so it’s essential to know when and how to clean them to keep your body and your partners safe.
Routine cleaning. Toys should be washed thoroughly when you first open them and after each use with normal soap and hot water, the same way you should wash your hands. If your toy is not completely waterproof, direct water away from the charging port and other openings when you wash; a sponge or cloth can help with this. Make sure you rinse all the soap off to avoid getting residue inside your body, and let toys dry completely before storing.
If you’re going to reuse the same toy, on the same person, on the same body part, that’s all you need to do. Don’t bother with specially packaged toy cleaners, which mostly exist as add-on items so brands and stores can make a few extra bucks; they don’t work any better than soap and water, and their tiny, single-use plastic is typically not recyclable. (Even if it is, most plastics aren’t recycled).
Regular soap and water is all this silicone dildo (based on one by Funkit Toys) needs for a routine cleaning.
When to disinfect. It’s a good idea to disinfect a toy if it has been used somewhere that might harbor unwanted bacteria or viruses before it gets used anywhere else. That means disinfecting a toy that has been used:
by someone with an STI, or unknown STI status, before using it on someone else
by someone with a bacterial or yeast infection, before using it again
anally, before using it on another person or in another orifice.
If you don’t have time to disinfect in the moment, consider switching to a different toy or covering the used toy with a condom to reduce the risk of transmission.
Always wash a toy thoroughly with soap and water before disinfecting; then use one of the methods below.
Spray or soak. Coat the toy in your favorite body-safe disinfectant, allow it to sit for a few minutes, and wash to remove any residue. My go-to disinfectant is hypochlorous acid (sold as Force of Nature or Briotech), but you can also use a solution of 70% alcohol or 10% bleach. Waterproof toys can be soaked; other toys can be sprayed and left to air dry. This method works for silicone, metal, and hard plastic toys, but toys made of unusual materials or finished with coatings—made of stone or wood, for example—might be damaged by some cleaning solutions. Ask the manufacturer for their preferred disinfectant.
It’s tub time for this Simply Elegant Glass dildo and Hedonic Glass butt plug!
Boil or bake. Boiling and baking are great for toys made of solid silicone, metal, or borosilicate glass, which can withstand high temperatures. Toys that contain plastic or electronic parts or less common types of glass can be permanently damaged by heat and should never be baked or boiled. For wood, stone, or ceramic, or if you’re not sure what type of glass your toy is made from, contact the manufacturer to find out whether your toy can be disinfected with heat.
To boil, submerge your toy completely in boiling water for three minutes, then remove and allow to cool on a clean towel. Scott of SquarePeg Toys recommends making sure that toys are surrounded by flowing water, rather than resting on the bottom of the pot, to avoid damaging the pot with excessive heat. To bake, heat your oven to 300 degrees, place your toys upright on a glass baking dish, and bake for five minutes.
Some toys, like this silicone butt plug by Uberrime, can be disinfected with heat.
Disposal Should Be Your Last Resort
In a perfect world, every toy would be a loved toy, made of safe and durable materials, reparable when damaged, rehomed when unwanted, and recycled when no longer usable. In reality, some toys are made of subpar materials. Most break eventually, and repair and recycling are rare. Some toys just suck. What do we do when we can’t get any more use out of a toy?
Know when it’s time to go. A toy should be trashed if there’s any indication that it’s unsafe to use: if the material becomes split or cracked, the motor suddenly becomes noisy or unreliable (suggesting an electrical problem), or the batteries show signs of corrosion. I recommend avoiding toys made of porous materials, but if you do use these toys, throw them away at the first sign of breakdown or discoloration, or if you experience any irritation while using them—even once.
Rehome if you can. If a toy is still usable, but you just don’t like it, consider reselling it or giving it away rather than trashing it. We’ll cover how to do this, and how to find secondhand toys, in “Sustainable Sex Toys — Part 3.”
Recycle with caution. Although many sex toys are made of materials that are recyclable in theory, vanishingly few recycling facilities accept them in practice. As Mark Hay reports, sex toys typically can’t be recycled in municipal programs due to issues with automatic sorting and concerns about contamination. Unless you’re absolutely sure that a facility accepts them, don’t wishcycle your toys. A single inappropriately recycled item can contaminate an entire batch of recyclable materials, condemning them to the landfill.
Recycling programs specifically for sex toys have been widely unsuccessful due to low profitability, and many companies that once offered recycling—like Lovehoney, Nikki Darling, and apparently Scarlet Girl—have stopped their programs due to financial barriers or difficulties posed by COVID-19. I was able to locate two programs still in operation: Canadian shop Come As You Are and Australia-based Normal, both of which accept sex toys via local mail. For the rest of the world, the landfill is, unfortunately, the best option.
Last Updated: October 24, 2022
Editor: Karrie Witkin, Iris Aguilar | Designer & Illustrator: Kelsey Wolf | Copywriter: Karrie Witkin | Copy Editor: Katie Frankowicz | Proofreader: Karrie Witkin
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