Sustainable Sex Toys — Part 1: Conscious Shopping
The most eco-friendly sex toy is the one you’ll genuinely love and keep out of the landfill
By kat baus
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A toy’s price tag doesn’t always reflect how impressive (or underwhelming) it will be. However, toys sold on clearance or in impulse bins and ultra-cheap vibrators and dildos won’t last long before ending up in a landfill.
I love sex toys. I consider them — like sturdy hiking boots, fresh berries in summer, and good coffee — essential to my sense of thriving. They provide a quick pick-me-up, relieve menstrual cramps, calm my nerves, and make the difference between sex that ends in almost-there frustration and sex that ends in glowy, floaty, satisfying orgasms.
Unfortunately, sex toys are uniquely positioned to generate waste and end up in landfills. Stigma and shyness keep us from talking openly about toys we’ve used or are curious about the way we might recommend a good moisturizer or ask our group chat to weigh in on an expensive pair of boots. Education is lacking, myths abound, and most information comes from brands that prioritize profits over thoughtful consumption. The result is a cycle of confused over-shopping, poor maintenance, trashing toys that break prematurely or don’t agree with our bodies, and improper disposal of electronic waste: decidedly unsexy.
What’s an eco-conscious sexual being to do? This guide will help you choose toys you’ll actually want to keep and support more ethical brands and retailers.
Buy the Best You Can Afford
“But what if I don’t like it?”
This was the most common concern I heard working in sex toy retail. It makes sense: You’re about to spend money on an item you can’t return (1), and there’s no surefire way to know whether it will work for you.
Resist the impulse to buy the cheapest thing you can find. That’s not to say you can’t find a good toy on a budget; quality has increased sharply in recent years, and a toy’s price tag doesn’t always reflect how impressive it will be. However, toys sold on clearance or impulse bins and ultra-cheap vibrators and dildos won’t last long, nor will they teach you much about what your body likes. Here’s how to spot a high-quality toy:
Pick a safe material. Choose a durable, non-porous material that can be thoroughly cleaned: pure silicone (2), ABS plastic, properly finished wood, high-quality glass or ceramic, or metal. Anything else is likely porous — impossible to rid of harmful bacteria — and possibly even toxic.
Listen to the motor: Low-quality vibrators are typically weak, “buzzy,” and prone to breaking. Listen for a motor that produces a low hum or rumble rather than a high-pitched buzz. Pay attention to how loud the motor is, too: A noisy toy may not work if you’re bothered by buzz or share a wall with a roommate.
Pay attention to construction. Look out for motorized parts that rotate or flex, which require gentler handling and have shorter lifespans than parts made of one solid piece. When possible, choose buttons that are intuitive, easy to press, and raised rather than indented, which will last longer, especially for users with long nails.
Opt for rechargeable toys. Trashing dead batteries (3) is a real turn-off. Look for a durable, ideally waterproof charging port. Magnetic ports are quickly becoming the industry standard, but micro-USB ports (with silicone covers to protect them from moisture) also hold up well over time. “Splash-proof” toys, which can get wet on the surface but can not be submerged, require more careful cleaning than waterproof toys. Avoid pin-shaped chargers that have to be inserted through a tiny hole in a vibrator’s outer layer of silicone, as these have a tendency to break — killing the toy — if the pin isn’t inserted at just the right angle.
Shop for Your Body
If you’re new to sex toys, start with reliable, versatile basics before expanding into more unusual, statement pieces. Depending on your body and preferences, I recommend starting with these (along with a high-quality lubricant that works with your body and toys):
Bullet vibrator for clitorial stimulation
For your clitoris: Start with a vibrator that fits in your palm and includes gentle to intense settings. If you masturbate with a finger or two focusing on one spot, I recommend a bullet-shaped vibrator with vibrations concentrated in the tip. If you use several fingers together or can get off grinding against a thigh, opt for a pebble-shaped toy with vibrations distributed over a larger area.
Toys that use air pressure rather than vibration (4) to stimulate the clitoris work better for some anatomies than others. Consensus is they’re great if you can fit your whole clitoris inside the nozzle without touching the edges, or if you can fit the nozzle against the clitoral hood without touching the sensitive glans, but they can be uncomfortably overstimulating if you’re in the middle. Measure your anatomy at home and bring a ruler on your comparison shopping trip.
Air pressure toy for clitorial stimulation
Pebble vibrator for clitorial stimulation
Two dildos for vaginal stimulation: thicker with slightly curved shape for sliding sensation (left) and thinner with an exaggerated head for g-spot stimulation (right)
For your vagina: Start with a non-vibrating dildo; in my experience, internal vibrations are overrated, and you’ll save money opting for a simpler toy while you’re figuring out what you like. Start with measurements you already enjoy — your preferred penis, fingers, or existing toy — and opt for a toy slightly thicker than that at its widest point. Don’t worry about too much length; you don’t have to insert the whole thing.
When choosing a shape, think about the sensations you seek out during penetration. If you enjoy a finger or two hooked toward your belly, or you lean back during intercourse to focus pressure on the front wall of your vagina, your best bet will be a firm dildo with a narrow neck and an exaggerated head or bulb for G-spot stimulation. If you prefer two or more fingers and sliding, stretching sensations, try a thicker dildo with a straight or slightly curved shape that yields somewhat when you squeeze it.
Penis stroker
For your penis: Try a textured, silicone sleeve (with lots of lube) for stroking. Most sleeves are made from porous materials, but you can find silicone sleeves on Etsy and some independent websites. Look for an internal diameter slightly narrower than your penis. If you normally require a lot of stimulation, try a moderately textured sleeve; if you’re sensitive to lighter touches, choose a milder one. You can always increase stimulation by squeezing and twisting during use.
Butt plug
For your butt: If you haven’t inserted anything anally before, try that before investing in a toy. Fingers — with lube, and latex or nitrile gloves if they make you more comfortable — are a great place to start. If you hate it, stop there. If you like it, try a toy that’s as wide or slightly wider at its widest point than the body parts you’ve enjoyed inserting.
Dildo with base for anal
If you like the sensation of thrusting, choose a straight or gently curved dildo. If you would rather have a toy stay in place for added stimulation during other activities, try a traditional butt plug with a tapered neck and T-shaped base that will sit comfortably between your cheeks. Every anal toy should have a base that will prevent it from slipping in too far. Use generous amounts of lube, and don’t push yourself if a toy is too wide to use comfortably.
For everything: Try a rumbly wand vibe with a silicone head. Wands aren’t the most travel-friendly (although they’re fine to take through TSA), but their long handles and rumbly motors make them reliable, versatile crowd-pleasers. You can hold or rub them against penises, vulvas, nipples, perineums, the bases of inserted toys, and the outsides of sleeves. You can mute their intensity by holding them lightly against the body or using them through clothing or a blanket. The handles make them a great option for people with wrist pain or other issues that can make holding a toy uncomfortable, and they double as legitimate massagers for tight muscles.
Already covered your basics and want to expand your range? Try journaling. Experiment with what you have and write down when you find yourself wanting more or less squish, texture, pressure on that spot, or harder or softer vibrations. Make a wishlist of sizes, shapes, and sensations, and choose a next toy that ticks your most important boxes.
No surprises. If you’re shopping for someone else, don’t spring a toy on them: You’re likely to give them something that they don’t like and that will end up in the trash. Instead, include them in the process. Visit a shop together, ask them to pick out a few potential options online, or get them a gift card to a retailer you trust. If someone offers to gift you a new toy, make clear that you want to do your research and pick it out yourself.
Vet Your Brands
Ethical business practices are difficult to evaluate. As in fast fashion, most brands don’t offer (and some may not have) information about workers’ conditions or factory practices, though some do. Still, you can get a lot of information by perusing a brand or retailer’s website and social media to see if they’ve ended up on a reviewer’s blacklist. Here are some factors to consider:
Do they offer warranties? If the brand makes motorized toys, those toys should come with warranties of a year or more. This indicates that the brand stands by the durability of its vibrators. (Dildos don’t tend to come with warranties, as they’re difficult to break.)
Are their copy and advertising inclusive — or offensive? Check out the brand’s product lineup and Twitter or Instagram feed. How do they advertise? If they feature models, how diverse are those models? If they run ads or sales for events like Black History Month or International Women’s Day, are they doing anything useful for marginalized communities, or just pandering?
Are their products thoughtfully curated or quickly churned out? Sex toys, especially those with motors or “innovative” technology, require several rounds of design, testing, and tweaking. How long does this brand spend developing a toy before releasing it? Does the website feature customer ratings and are the products well-reviewed? Does every toy serve a purpose within the catalog and contribute to an overall aesthetic, or is there a confusing jumble of mismatched and redundant toys? Does the brand run frequent discounts? Do they copy designs from other companies? In short, are they just fast fashion in sex-toy form?
Do they care about having informed customers? How thorough is the information on the website or in product listings? Is there a blog’s worth of education? Do they at least describe the toy’s materials, dimensions (not just length!), packaging, and intended uses? Or is the copy heavy on buzzwords but light on useful information?
Are they trying their best to be sustainable? No brand is perfect — their survival depends on continuing to manufacture and sell products — but some try to reduce their environmental impact. Is their packaging recyclable cardboard, avoiding virgin plastic and foam padding? Do they have recycling programs in their factories and warehouses? Do they publish information about their sustainability practices? If they don’t, and you inquire, what do they say?
Shop Small
When possible, buy from local, independent retailers and makers and avoid big-box stores, shady companies, and Amazon. If there isn’t a good shop in your area, try an indie retailer online (like these) or purchase directly from a brand you trust. Bonus points if the retailer or manufacturer is near you, which will minimize the impact of shipping.
Support indie retailers. Local, brick-and-mortar sex toy shops need support: They struggle against zoning laws and often hire workers who may face discrimination in other fields, like current or former sex workers and trans or gender-nonconforming people. They provide education and stock books, lubricants, crafts by local makers, and other goods well worth checking out.
Support indie toy makers. We are in a golden age of indie sex toys, and everyone should be excited. Women-led upstarts like Dame and Unbound offer small collections of high-quality, reasonably-priced vibes and air-pressure toys in sleek, gender-neutral designs. Portland Toy Company, Uberrime, and Pris Toys offer classic dildo shapes in vibrant pours. Funkit Toys features abstract forms, including its lower-priced NoFrillDos. Hedonic Glass’s beautiful, annealed glass plugs sport stunning floral bases; Simply Elegant Glass makes plugs and dildos with nebula swirls. New York Toy Collective and Form Function LLC both offer items specifically for transmasculine people as well as standard fare.
If you’re looking for something more unusual, fantasy-focused Fantasticocks carries toys like ovipositors and Rubbies — flat, textured toys for non-penetrative grinding — in addition to dildos. Strange Bedfellas takes inspiration from monsters; Hole Punch, from radishes, revolvers, and rockets.
Talk to Others
People are resources! If you have friends or partners who talk openly about sex, or friendly staff at a sex toy store you can visit, ask them about their experiences with toys. They can offer you advice, reviews, and a sense of community. If a partner, hookup, or friend with a relaxed attitude happens to own a toy you’ve been eyeing, they might even be willing to let you try theirs before you buy it for yourself!
Talking about toys can be tricky if you’re not used to it. Start with: “Hey, I’ve been thinking of getting this one. Have you heard anything about it?” Or even: “I’ve been thinking about getting a sex toy. Have you used one before?” From there, own what you’re uncertain about: “I’m pretty sensitive, and I’m worried the vibrations will be too intense.” “I’ve never used a strap-on before. Will this one do the job?” Sex toy retail workers in particular are very used to questions like these, and we love helping people find answers!
Even if you don’t feel comfortable talking in person, you can read reviews online. But read critically, and beware of Amazon reviews and reviewers who may be paid to review favorably. Check out the Alliance of Independent Sex Toy Testers for solid review blogs and Reddit for individual experiences.
Play the Slow Game
Remember, the most eco-friendly sex toy is one stays out of the landfill for as long as possible: That means one you love using and actually want to keep. If you’re still on the fence after research and vetting, take a break from your search for something new. Spend quality time experimenting with the hands, toys, and partners you already enjoy. Hold out for the toy that makes you go, “Oh, this is what I’ve been looking for.”
(1) Some stores allow returns, but I consider such policies red flags, since they mean either trashing tons of inventory or reselling toys that have been exposed to body fluids. I’ve spoken with multiple customers who swore off Amazon (where returns are allowed) after receiving “new” vibrators coated in residue; one said she received a dildo with a condom still on it.
(2) Since sex toys aren’t regulated, there’s no standard language for this; look for toys made of “platinum,” “platinum-cured,” “medical-grade,” or “100%” silicone.
(3) If you opt for a battery-powered toy, make sure to dispose of your batteries responsibly.
(4) Marketing sometimes refers to these as “suction vibrators” or “clitoral suction toys,” but they don’t produce actual suction, and most of them don’t vibrate.
Last Updated: June 16, 2022
Writer: kat baus | Editors: Iris Aguilar and Karrie Witkin | Designer & Illustrator: Kelsey Wolf | Copywriter: Karrie Witkin | Copyeditor: Kate Frankowicz
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