The Never-Ending Baby Clothes Closet Clean-Out
How to deal with the deluge of gifted and hand-me-down kids clothes
Lydia Hyslop
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This is my son’s embarrassingly full t-shirt drawer.
I just counted all the t-shirts in my four-year-old’s drawer. Can you guess how many he has?
FIFTY. Fifty freakin’ T-shirts. That’s pretty embarrassing. I’m way overdue for the most dreaded of all tasks: the sorting of the stuff.
But why would one kid ever EVER need 50 t-shirts? Short answer: They don’t. How has this happened, you ask? Like father like son, I guess (and I wish I were kidding). Before you judge me, allow me to explain. Let me take you back to a simpler time, a pre-pandemic time of wonder and magic . . .
Picture this: You’re pregnant with your first child, counting down the days until he arrives, readying the pile-o-stuff from your baby shower, and anxiously washing every sweet little organic cotton infant onesie in dye-free, unscented, eco-friendly, and baby-safe detergent before it touches his pristine, womb-fresh, sensitive skin. You still believe you have some semblance of control at this point (bless your heart).
Then BOOM! Your baby is born. Congratulations! BUT he is a big baby. He is 12 days overdue, so he arrives well-done. So well-done that he only fits into 3-month onesies straight away, so all the perfect clothes you’ve readied are now just ready for the Goodwill or hand-me-down pile.
You love your big baby so much, and it’s a shame those tiny organic onesies will never get worn, but c’est la vie! When your big baby sleeps, you’ve got precisely thirty minutes to organize all the too-small clothes to donate and fill the dresser with clothes that actually fit. No problem, right? It’s kinda fun, because it’s a new, thrilling task and still sort of a novelty. Yet somehow, two weeks later, you’re doing it again — over and over and over — because the baby keeps eating and growing and eating more and growing more.
To the left are shirts I’ve purchased. Shirts on the right were all gifts. Not pictured are the ten dirty shirts currently in the laundry.
Suddenly your baby’s life flashes before your eyes. Existential crisis ensues as you find yourself drowning in baby stuff. People keep giving you every single item they secretly didn’t want (clothes that someone else probably gave them). Is there some unspoken rule that a new mom becomes a dumping ground for any and all rejected baby items? By the time your child is one, you’ve got a year’s worth of stuff to wade through, organize, and give away. And. It. Never. Ends.
My child is lucky to have doting grandparents who want to buy all the things for him. I have never wanted to seem ungrateful, and at first I didn’t realize what an unmanageable load we were undertaking. It does take a while for this fact to emerge. You’re blissed out, high on baby, and it seems so lovely that people want to give you all these things!
Here’s what I’ve learned from being the constant custodian of my kid’s clothes:
Reselling = Living with Inventory
My mother-in-law prefers name-brand clothes like baby DKNY, Hurley, and 7 For All Mankind (yes they make jeans for babies). As someone who disdains waste and has severe guilt about it, my new-mom-brain tricked me into thinking I should be reselling these “top-shelf” items instead of just donating them. Theoretically, I could resell them for cheap and use that credit to invest in secondhand clothes that were more our style. I had mild success reselling and buying on apps like Poshmark, but even that proved unsustainable. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day. I’m now of the mindset that anything I don’t want my kid to wear goes straight to the local thrift or to friends with kids who need or want these clothes (but it took me four years to get here). It cuts out the waiting period of will it sell? and the sheer quantity of piles sitting in boxes in closets. No one needs that.
Straight to Thrift is OK (So is Saying “No”)
Full disclosure: I have yet to tell my mother-in-law to stop sending clothes, but I have pleaded my case to my partner and he has lightly broached the subject. It’s a delicate process so if you go that route be prepared for your request to fall on deaf ears.
So what do you do when you see a fellow mom or relative with a giant, unsolicited bag coming in hot? Be direct; either graciously decline or accept, but by all means don’t let your kid(s) look in the bag. Inevitably, if they see the stuff, they will want the stuff. It’s up to you to decide if (a) you are in need of anything that potentially could be in the bag and (b) you have the emotional and mental capacity to deal with sorting through said bag. If my answer to both of those decisions is a hard NO then I wouldn’t even look in the bag.
As with anything in life, it is OK to say NO! We should really normalize this. If that feels potentially hurtful to say to your partner’s parents (or whomever), just accept the bag and what they don’t know won’t hurt them. Read: It’s going straight to the thrift store.
Get on a Hand-Me-Down Train
Find mom friends with similar sartorial taste, preferably with kids both slightly older and slightly younger than yours. This will make for a seamless train of hand-me-downs on the giving and receiving end. Plus, it’s really sweet when you see your friend’s kids wearing a beloved piece from your own kid’s wardrobe.
Make a Baby Clothes Clean-Out Routine
When it’s time to do your routine baby clothes clean-out, I would suggest quick and dirty. Don’t overthink it. If your answer to any of these questions is “no,” then that item has to go.
Does it still fit? Quickly hold up older items against newer ones that definitely fit to check the size.
Has my kid worn it in the last six months? If not, you can pretty much assume it no longer fits.
Are you planning on having more kids that could wear this again?
Does your child love it? Even if you don’t, you may have no choice but to keep it for now.
Does it have sentimental value or fill you with joy? See advice below.
Get a Small Box for Keepsakes
I do have a special box (actually, a hat box) of my son’s very first baby clothes (I’m not completely heartless!). It is filled primarily with vintage or handmade items that are sentimental. It is organized and stored on the off-chance I have another kid. Otherwise, it will be there for when my younger sister has kids or when my own kid has kids (here comes that life-flashing-before-my-eyes existential crisis again!).
Resist Fast Fashion
A final issue confronting new parents is the booming industry of uber-cute baby clothes. They’re SO tempting, especially when you’re blinded by the love hormones, but talk about fast fashion! And this stuff is pricey! Babies are historically known to grow, so if you simply cannot resist, please try to set a limit. Invest in a few quality pieces that will make great hand-me-downs for years. Quality over quantity, always.
It’s OK to be specific in your baby registry or to specifically request no clothes if you would rather attempt to curate your baby’s wardrobe yourself. I say “attempt” because despite your best efforts, you’re inevitably going to end up with way more clothes than your child could ever possibly need from people who truly mean well. If you’re on the giving end of this equation, might I suggest you ask the parents what they would actually want or need? It may not be clothes. It might be diapers or wipes. I’d take wipes over a designer onesie all day.
I know everyone’s situation is different, and I never mean to assume anything about your particular situation. If you are a parent in need, seriously contact me and I will send you 10-20 pieces of baby or toddler clothing. I’m really not kidding. I would love to help you.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have precisely 50 t-shirts to sort…
Love & LEGOs,
Lydia
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