It’s taken almost two decades of flailing through outward-facing identities before arriving at what I call my Final Aesthetic Evolution: stoner artist type drinking lukewarm wine on a windy and rainy beach.

I’m an adult who collects dolls. I’ve freed myself from the stigma associated with this hobby, but now I’m starting to confront the hyper-consumerism and environmental repercussions that come with building a collection.

When I was in college, I started a style blog just for fun. But when I tried to blog for a living, I fell into a cycle of over-consumption and guilt. This is my journey recovering from blogger burnout.

I post haul videos on YouTube even though I understand the problematic nature of them. Haul videos encourage shopping as a competitive sport. So why do I do it?

How do Pantone colors impact the way we consume? We have to examine our ability to be conditioned to like and to want, and how color trends fuel unnecessary consumption.