Steward of Stuff
A baby comes with a steady stream of possessions to manage
Lydia Hyslop
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Perfection parenting is a lie, yet it is one that we’ve been psychologically duped into believing we can achieve if we have the “perfect” baby monitor, or the “perfect” toys, or the “perfect” (insert any material good or societal ideal here). The only FACT about parenting that I know to be true is this: Nobody is perfect. Let me repeat: NOBODY is perfect.
You will be making choices based on what actually works for your lifestyle, as it relates to this new being who’s been added into the mix. Much of what you thought you knew previously will probably go right out the window. The sooner you accept this, the easier it’s going to be. Parenting has a way of humbling you real quick!
Before I had a child, I had my day-to-day pretty dialed in. I was a lifelong thrifter and vintage collector and an avid recycler and composter who was concerned about my carbon footprint. I’m guessing this may speak to you or you wouldn’t be reading the Clotheshorse blog!
“It’s amazing how generous people can be when it comes to providing for an impending baby, but it’s so quickly overwhelming. It is simply unsustainable.”
I used to nanny for families in LA, and the amount of excess I saw firsthand was truly impressive. These families — LA industry folk who could afford a nanny in the first place — had money to burn. To go anywhere became a small production. It reminds me of that Portlandia sketch where they’ve got to “get the gear!” before being able to organically enjoy anything. And hey, if you can make that work for you and your family, more power to you! I never minded it because I was getting paid to do a job, but I always thought to myself, “It’ll be different when I have kids.” Famous last words.
So, when I found myself pregnant and planning for my baby’s arrival, I made choices guided by my lifestyle preference: minimal “gear,” cloth diapers, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, vintage baby clothes. So I’m a little crunchy, but let me tell you — pretty soon, that idyllic, sustainable, “perfect” pile-o-stuff grew exponentially out of hand in front of my eyes before my son was even born. The steady stream of stuff has decreased but has yet to stop.
Please don’t assume I am ungrateful. As a financially struggling and effectively houseless mom-to-be, I was extremely grateful that people wanted to shower me with baby swag. It’s amazing how generous people can be when it comes to providing for an impending baby, but it’s so quickly overwhelming. It’s simply not sustainable. I learned quite early on in my son’s life that my new official title, on top of being “Mama,” was “Steward of Stuff.”
As a Steward of Stuff, I have A LOT to share with you! If you are also a parent, or looking into becoming one, the following future topics I will be covering should simultaneously excite you and strike fear into your heart:
The Never-Ending Baby Clothes Clean-Out
The Plastic Toy Take-Over
When Love Equals Stuff
Baby Things You Won’t Need
The Beautiful Side of Baby Stuff
Motherf*cking LEGOs
Point blank: kids = stuff. If you’re a person who is clutter-blind or just doesn’t mind it then I 10/10 highly recommend kids. Have a whole litter! But if you’re like me and your anxiety spikes at the sight of clutter and the thought of waste and excess, there’s a sharp learning curve that comes with parenting.
As I continue the journey of Me vs. My Kid’s Stuff, I’ll be posting here with regular insights I’ve gathered (along with various broken bits of plastic toys that quickly lost their charm). Parenthood is a wild ride but one we shouldn’t have to live surrounded by excess. I hope you’ll join me on this sleep-deprived acid trip that is parenthood.
Love & LEGOs,
Lydia
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